Knowing

Do you ever have moments where you are truly trying to grasp the reality of what Jesus did for you when he died on the cross? And I do not mean a moment where you're sitting in church and it gets brought up and you're thankful for it, but a moment when you just hear something about the death of Jesus and it REALLY hits you. And I know, that none of us will ever grasp the true weight and meaning of what he did until we get to Heaven and come face to face with him, but some days, it just hits harder than others. This is where my mind has been lately.

When I think about my own life, and the things that I have done, it hurts me to know that I grieved him in multiple ways, because he loved me so much, and I was willing to push him away to do what I wanted. I did not deserve to be saved, or have my sins forgiven. I did not earn the right to someone else's life in order to save mine. But he came anyway. And to know, that nothing I could do or say would ever have stopped him from coming as a sacrifice for my own sins, is just too much to bear sometimes. And it's not out of love, or sadness, but just knowing. Knowing who I was, and still am, and knowing that I could never earn or deserve the love that he gave and still gives, is just heavy, and that's okay. I think if we never truly think about his love and the fact that nothing would have convinced him that each of us was not worth what he went through, we are missing some serious relational moments with the Lord.

So take some time today, to just sit in the presence of the Lord, knowing, that although we never deserved to be in his presence, he loves us so much, that we always have a chance to meet him at the altar.